If You Only Knew (Harper Falls #3) Read online

  Tyler didn’t even own a traditional oven. Her microwave was there to heat things up — mostly bagels and yesterday’s coffee. She liked to eat; she just had no desire to be the one who prepared what went into her mouth. Why cook when so many tasty alternatives were available?

  Rose passed around a bowl of scrambled eggs. The toast was lightly buttered and browned. No burned spots in sight. Crispy bacon and a bowl of fresh strawberries rounded out the meal.

  “These are really good, Rose. Fluffy and not an eggshell to be found. I’m impressed.”

  “Me too,” Rose said. “I’m impressed that Jack fixed all this before he left this morning and put it in the oven to keep warm.”

  “Gorgeous, rich, a God in bed, and he cooks breakfast for you and your friends? You hit the motherlode.” Tyler reached for more bacon. She had yet to exceed her daily allowance of pig fat.

  “And he loves you.” Dani smothered her toast with blackberry jam. The label read From The Kitchen of Bobbie Wilde. Since she had several jars in her cupboard at home, she already knew how good it was.

  “He does love me.” Rose still couldn’t quite believe her luck. Who could have guessed that when she hit him up for a one-night stand, she propositioned the love of her life?

  “Dani scored a winner too. Alex looks at you like you hung the moon. And his butt looks amazing in a pair of jeans.”

  “It looks even better out of them.” Dani gave Tyler a speculative look. “I think I can speak for Rose when I ask you, what the hell is going on?”

  Tyler shook her head. “Rose has given up using that kind of language, so if you spoke for her, you’d have to wash your mouth out with soap.”

  “Something is up,” Rose said to Dani.

  “I agree. What do you think is going on?”

  “Drew?”

  “Oh, definitely, Drew.”

  “Aren’t you two clever. Yes, it has to do with Drew.”

  “Well, don’t keep us waiting. What happened?”

  “I don’t think I hate him anymore.”

  “Oh, honey,” Rose reached for her hand. “I’m so glad. It’s exhausting, hating someone. Especially when you have to see them so often. What brought it about?”

  Tyler told her friends everything. She started with her trip to Drew’s house.

  “Did you really mention ex-lovers?” Dani wanted to know. “And by name?”

  “Not my finest hour.” Tyler pushed her plate back, no longer very hungry.

  “Hey, he deserved a kick in the ass, pardon my French. He’s waited this long to talk and he decides to do it after he just had his tongue down your throat? Not cool.”

  “How was the kiss?” Dani wiggled her eyebrows.

  “Even better than I remembered.” Way better.

  “Well, sure. He wasn’t playing monk. I’ll bet he could have slung around a few names of his own.”

  “More than a few,” Rose chimed in. “To hear Jack tell it — and you know what, I’m just going to shut up now.”

  “I’m fine,” Tyler assured her. “How strange would it be if he’d given up on sex for ten years?”

  “I’ve heard that if a woman abstains long enough, she sometimes re-virginizes.”

  Rose laughed. “Dani, you need to stop reading those rags when you’re in the checkout line at the grocery store. More eggs anyone?”

  Both Tyler and Dani shook their heads.

  “I’ll admit it’s been awhile,” Tyler said. “Not long enough for anything to grow over down there. Besides, Drew did the deed when I was sixteen. How horrifying would it be if he found out it didn’t take?”

  “Does that mean you still plan on getting naked with him?”

  “Yes, please. That kiss almost blew the top off my head.”

  “Are you going to let him explain? Before the sex? Or even after?” Rose asked.

  “I want to know. He’s hinted that there’s more to it than simply the end of our teenage romance. It’s time he spilled the whole story.”

  “We all know you had more than a teen fling,” Rose said with a firm conviction. Dani nodded vigorously in agreement.

  “I’d forgotten,” Tyler said, shrugging. “Or more accurately, I didn’t let myself remember. Lately, I’ve had these vivid flashbacks.”

  “Like dreams?”

  “Sort of. Sometimes it happens when I’m asleep. Most of the time I just remember. I’ve been hurt and angry for so long, I thought those feelings were lost forever.” Tyler looked at Rose, then Dani. “He was so sweet, so careful. It couldn’t have been an act.”

  “He loved you, Tyler,” Dani assured her.

  “Dani’s right. It doesn’t matter how old you were. Where is it written that love isn’t real when you’re sixteen? Or seventeen? Where’s the cut-off point?”

  “It was so intense.” Tyler’s eyes turned almost black with emotion. “I want that back — the good memories. I lived it. I deserve not to have my gut cramp up when I think back on them.”

  “It sounds like you’re well on your way.”

  “I’m going to see Drew again. This time I’ll listen before I jump his bones. I hope I still want to after I hear what he has to say.”

  “Either way, at least you’ll finally know,” Rose said with an encouraging smile. “Then you can — sorry, that’s Jack’s ringtone.”

  Rose walked to the coffee table and picked up her phone.

  “Hey, miss me already?”

  “Does Alex call you every hour?” Tyler teased.

  “No. He texts between playing drill sergeant. Yesterday he—”

  “Are you kidding? What the hell, Jack?”

  Tyler and Dani exchanged concerned looks. Whatever was going on, Rose wasn’t happy about it.

  “Do you know where he is? Last night? Well, his timing really sucks. Can you get the details? Right. No, this time I have to tell her. I love you too. Bye.”

  “Damn idiot man,” Rose muttered as she turned back to her friends. Her eyes briefly met Dani’s before she turned to Tyler.

  “There’s something we didn’t tell you.” She hesitated, looking at Dani again.

  “Oh, come on.” Dani groaned in disgust. “I thought he was over that crap.”

  “It would seem he was just taking a break.”

  “Who, what, and where, ladies?” Tyler felt like she was listening to some kind of secret code. “If you have something to tell me, spit it out.”

  “Go on,” Dani urged.

  Taking a deep breath, Rose let it all out, not pausing, or breathing until she said it all.

  “A few months ago, we found out that Drew participates in underground races that are really, really dangerous and we didn’t tell you because we didn’t want you to have one more thing to worry about and Jack thought he was done with it, but now he’s taken off again and one of these times his luck might not hold and he could get seriously injured or worse.”

  Tyler sat, unmoving.

  “Did you hear me?”

  “Of course she heard you,” Dani said, frowning. “It’s a lot to take in all at once. We’re sorry we didn’t tell you last time, Tyler. We thought we were doing the right thing.”

  “We’ll talk about that later.” The fact that her two best friends broke their honesty pact was the least of Tyler’s worries. She would get pissed at them later.

  “Does Jack know where Drew is?”

  “Yes. He said somewhere in Mexico.”

  Tyler stood, grabbing her purse and heading towards the door.

  “Call him back. It’s a big country. I need to know Drew’s exact location.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Apparently, I’m not over my mad.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means when I find him, I’m going to kick some Harper ass.”

  “I REALLY APPRECIATE you doing this, Jack.”

  “What good is having an international pilot’s license and half a dozen planes if I can’t use one of them in an emergency?” />
  “Is this an emergency?”

  It felt like one. She planned on getting to Spokane, finding the first flight to Mexico, and worrying about connections once she was on the ground. Jack took that worry away in an instant. Almost before she could blink, they were on a private jet and in the air.

  “Semi-emergency. Drew has raced off and on for ten years. One time, he came back with a black eye and that wasn’t from the race. Some guy blindsided him at a bar the night before.”

  “Are you saying it isn’t as dangerous as Dani and Rose led me to believe?”

  Jack hesitated.

  “The truth, Jack. I need to go into this knowing everything I can.”

  “It’s dangerous,” he finally admitted. “People die, Tyler. As good as Drew is, and he’s the best driver I’ve ever personally seen, things happen. Other drivers happen.”

  “How many races has he participated in?

  “Rose told me you’d ask. Around seventy, seventy-five.” Jack shook his head in amazement. “You really know each other, don’t you?”

  “You know her, Jack.”

  “I don’t want you to misunderstand. I’m not jealous of what you three have; I’m damn grateful she had you. Rose told me she never would have gotten through what happened with her aunt if it hadn’t been for you and Dani.”

  It wasn’t something Tyler liked to think about. She could still see Rose, in that hospital bed, wasted away to almost nothing.

  “She’s tough. She would have made it back without us. I’m just glad she didn’t have to.”

  “Play it down if you want. I know Rose wouldn’t be the woman I love if it weren’t for her friends. For that reason alone, I would fly you to hell and make damn sure you got back safely. It helps that I like you. Rose, or no Rose.”

  “Dani and I wouldn’t have let just any man marry our best friend.” She patted his leg. “You’re good for her. And we like you too.”

  “Wow, we fell into a real Kumbaya moment, didn’t we?”

  “The plane is practically the Good Ship Lollypop.”

  Tyler picked up her iPad and continued her research. The races were considered underground because they had no sanctioning organization to make sure things ran by a set of rules. The no-holds-barred atmosphere was the appeal.

  Anyone could enter — first you had to know how. The events were embedded. If you knew the code, it meant you were either a former participant or you’d befriended someone who was. Organizers found the venue, posted the location and date. There was an entrance fee that could be paid right up to the start of the race. As far as rules went, there were none. You had to start with the other racers; if you finished first, you won. What you were willing to do to get from point A to point B was between you and your conscience. Nobody else cared.

  Some of the pictures that were posted online made Tyler shudder. Mangled pieces of metal that no longer resembled automobiles. Broken bodies — lucky to be alive. Then there were the not so lucky ones.

  She kept scrolling, unable to help herself.

  “Stop.”

  Jack plucked the tablet from her hands, closing the case, shutting out the brutal images.

  “That isn’t helping.”

  “I know but—”

  “Those are extreme cases, Tyler. No one has died in any race Drew has run.”

  “Yet.”

  “Rose told me you planned on kicking his ass.”

  “Amongst other things.”

  “Keep that thought. If anyone can stop him from racing, you can.”

  Tyler wasn’t so sure.

  “I did this, didn’t I?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We fought. Last night. Now he’s in Mexico? I don’t see that as a coincidence.”

  “He was looking into this race last week, Tyler. He already planned on going.”

  “Maybe.”

  “The demons that push him latched on long before he got involved with you. The way I see it, Regina Harper sent her husband to an early grave. Officially, it was a heart attack. Drew believes his father simply gave up. Death was the only way out of that sham of a marriage. How messed up is that?”

  So messed up. Tyler was hardly one to judge. Her family reeked of its own kind of dysfunction.

  “Maybe Drew and I should stay as far away from each other as possible.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Come on, Jack. Drew and me, Regina and my father? It’s beyond twisted.”

  “You and Drew were two kids who fell in love. What’s more natural than that?”

  “And our parents?”

  “Unnatural, both of them.” He gave her a sympathetic smile. “Honey, you don’t know what went on between Regina and your dad. The picture Rose and Dani found showed two people, clothes on, embracing. It might have been perfectly innocent.”

  “Then why did Regina freak out? That picture getting in with the others sent to Dani for the commemorative book she’s doing was obviously an accident. But why keep it in the first place unless it meant something?”

  “If I could tell you the answer to that, I would have to start thinking like Regina Harper. Can you imagine the warped kind of logic she lives with every day? No thanks.”

  Jack checked the controls, making sure all was running smoothly. He turned slightly until he faced Tyler.

  “I was one of the lucky ones, growing up the way I did. The Winstons are sickeningly textbook perfect. You know what that means?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I am immensely underqualified to give the kind of advice you need. Doesn’t stop me though, ask Drew. So here goes, and pardon my language ahead of time. I say, fuck Regina. Fuck your dad. Grab on to your chance, Tyler. Work your ass off for it, don’t let go. No matter what.”

  “And if Drew isn’t interested?” The thought made Tyler’s stomach sink.

  “Oh, he’s interested. I’m not sure he thinks he deserves you.”

  “I’m no catch.”

  “Eye of the beholder.” Jack gave her a crooked grin, his blue eyes warm and caring. “He’s been my best friend since the first day we met. He’s stubborn, opinionated, and yes, a bit screwed up. He’s also loyal. He’s always had my back. And one more thing.”

  “Yes?”

  “He loves you.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “Let’s just say between myself, Alex, and Drew, I recognize the signs.”

  “Can I have my iPad back?”

  “Tyler…”

  “Not for that. There’s something else I want to look at.”

  Taking her word for it, Jack handed her back the tablet.

  Tyler pulled up a page she’d been looking at earlier and studied it before turning to Jack.

  “Can we make a stop this side of the border? Preferably in a town with a good-sized mall.”

  “What do you need?” Jack asked, clearly puzzled.

  “That.”

  Tyler handed showed him the picture she’d pulled up. Jack looked for a moment before letting out a long whistle.

  “Seriously?”

  Tyler shrugged. “If I’m going to do this, I might as well go all the way.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  THERE WAS DUST everywhere.

  Tyler stepped out of the truck. Her feet hit a surface made hard by the relentless heat of the sun and hundreds of cars that over time had worn deep grooves into the ground. From what she could see, they had stepped into a loud, chaotic mess populated by grease-covered drivers of cars that had seen better days. And though she was no expert, it was a good guess those days occurred several decades ago.

  Tyler adopted her best tough girl sneer, cocking her hip and studying the nails on one hand as though the whole thing was a terrific bore. Inside, she shook like a leaf. Thank God Jack insisted on escorting her to the race site. If it had been up to Tyler, he would have dropped her at the airport, convinced all she needed was a rental car and MapQuest.

  “Do you think all the races
are like this?”

  “Some might be a bit more upscale, but I doubt it. These things don’t have sponsors to impress or spectators paying through the nose for luxury boxes. This is bare bones.”

  Tyler looked at him, amazed at the tone of his voice. “You sound impressed.”

  “Not exactly, but now that I’m here, I get the appeal.

  “You mean the smell of unwashed bodies and,” she sniffed the air, “outhouses?”

  Jack laughed. “There’s something primal. We live in a very manicured world, Tyler. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a hot shower and flush toilets. But a man likes to beat his chest now and then.”

  “Drew gave me a variation on that speech back when we were teenagers. Something about no new worlds to conquer, no mountains to climb. Only back then, he compared walking on the moon to my virginity.”

  “Did you slap his face?”

  “He was joking — mostly.”

  “I have to say you nailed the outfit, including the platform shoes.”

  “Candies.” Tyler put her foot out to display the wooden-heeled slides. Their quick stop in San Diego had been well worth it. “They were big in the eighties. Apparently women here are stuck in a fashion time warp.”

  “Now, don’t be a snob.”

  Jack looked around. It was a colorful crowd. Moving closer to Tyler, he gave a warning frown to a couple of men who gave her the eye. Her long legs and short shorts made her stand out even in a sea of similarly dressed women.

  “We need to find Drew.”

  Unaware of the attention she garnered, Tyler craned her neck, searching.

  “How do we do that?”

  “Magic.”

  Jack pulled out his phone and hit speed dial.

  “Oh, right.” She felt a little foolish that she hadn’t thought of it. Now she was doubly glad Jack was with her.

  “Not to worry.” It took several rings but Drew finally answered.

  “What is it, Jack?”

  “No need to bite my head off.”

  “I’m a little busy and I don’t need you checking up on me. Unless H&W is burning to the ground, I have to go.”