If I Loved You (Harper Falls Book 1) Read online

  Soon Louise had nabbed herself a well to do new husband and Rose was being shipped off to a private school in Eastern Washington. A turn of events that couldn’t have made Rose happier.

  Harper Academy was in Harper Falls. Rose had been informed by the oh so proper headmistress that it was a very exclusive school. She thought Rose should say thanks every day that she had a wealthy benefactor with connections to the Harper family, the founders, and trustees. Rose didn’t know or care anything about who ran the school or the surrounding town. What mattered to her was the outstanding music program the school offered. When things with her mother had been at their worst, music would often be their only way of connecting. Being able to study, to learn new instruments, was a dream come true.

  Rose had always known that her mother was an unhappy person. Maggie O’Brian was alone in the world; her heart given to a man who had gotten her pregnant and disappeared before Rose was born. Maggie assured Rose that her father would be with them if he could, that someday he would come back. Rose was too young to know what that meant, all she did know was that it made her mother sad. But when Rose sang, sometimes her mother would smile. So she taught herself to play the guitar. The old beat up instrument that she bought at a yard sale for one dollar had been her most prized possession. The simple songs she wrote weren’t chart toppers by any stretch of the imagination. But at the time Rose’s only goal had been to give her mother a few moments of happiness. What she couldn’t understand at such a young age was that the depression that had a hold on Maggie O’Brian was stronger than a few well-meant songs. Maggie had crawled into a black hole and didn’t want to come out. Not for her daughter, not for anything.

  When Rose got her first look at the school’s music room full of shiny new instruments, most of which Rose had never even heard of, it was all she could do to contain her excitement. She felt terrified that if it got back to her aunt that Rose was actually thrilled to be there, she would taken out and sent somewhere else, somewhere without music. But inside, Rose was jumping with joy. Harper Academy was where she was meant to be, and she wasn’t going to do anything that might ruin her chances of staying.

  Luck remained on Rose’s side when it came to where she would live while attending Harper Academy though at first she wouldn’t have said it was good luck. There was housing for students, but when Rose arrived it was the middle of June, and they didn’t board students during the summer. There were a few townsfolk who occasionally rented rooms to students when the dormitories were overbooked The headmistress had suggested the Jones family because they had a daughter Rose’s age.

  Martin and Anita Jones and their three children lived within walking distance of the school though none of the children went to Harper Academy. When the headmistress was explaining to Rose where she would live, she had whispered this information, as though going to public school was some shameful secret. But Rose didn’t care—she was going to live with a real family. One that had children, and a mother and father.

  As the car from the school pulled up in front of the well maintained two story home, she could barely contain her excitement. She had spent the last six months hiding her natural curiosity and exuberance. Showing enthusiasm for anything was the quickest way to have it taken away. She hoped this family played and laughed and had a dog. Oh, please, let them have a dog.

  Just then, as if someone had been reading her mind, a huge black and white dog came running around the house barking what Rose hoped was a greeting. She had pictured a much smaller dog, one that wasn’t almost as tall as she was. The driver didn’t seem overly worried. He skillfully maneuvered the animal away from the car door and helped her out.

  “Don’t worry, miss,” he assured her. “That’s just Barney. He’s as gentle as a lamb.”

  As if to prove the driver’s point, Barney chose that moment to swipe her hand with his large, wet tongue, and that was all it took—Rose was in love. She giggled and threw her arms around the dog’s neck, feeling like she had made at least one new friend.

  “Get your hands off my dog, rich girl.”

  Rose jumped back in surprise. She supposed the tall, slender girl with a mass of tangled black hair was yelling at her; she was the only one near Barney. But Rich Girl? Hardly.

  “Tyler, what did your mother tell you?”

  “I don’t remember, Uncle Stan.” The girl dug the toe of her scuffed sneakers into the dirt; her eyes not quite meeting the big man who had driven Rose from the school.

  “We agreed to be nice, Tyler,” a soft but firm voice admonished.

  Another girl had joined them, smaller than the mean one and much friendlier. She looks like a fairy princess; Rose thought the first time she saw Jordanna Wilde. Her hair was an endless mass of moonlight colored curls, and her eyes were the color emeralds. Rose couldn’t help wondering what it was like to be so beautiful.

  “Hi.” The girl’s smile was warm and welcoming. “I’m Dani; I live next door. And this is Tyler. She’s really nice when you get to know her.” Seeing Rose’s skeptical look, she added, “I promise. Before the summer is over we’ll all be best friends.”

  And they had been. It became a rare occurrence when one was seen without the other two. After school, holidays and every summer, except one. For the next nine years, nothing could keep them apart. And now they were all back where it started. Nothing made Rose happier than knowing the two people she loved most in the world only lived a few blocks away.

  “Finally,” Tyler called out as Rose entered the coffee shop. “You leave us messages about some big news and then you’re late. I ordered you your usual Earl Grey. Sit and spill. The beans, not your tea.”

  “Tyler was up all night working, so she’s kind of wired. I made her order decaf.” Dani was always trying to curtail Tyler’s caffeine intake. She wasn’t very successful.

  Rose looked at her friends and was amazed at how much they still looked like the girls she had met for the first time all those years ago. Dani still looked like a princess, curling light gold hair and deep green eyes. But this woman was no damsel in distress. She was a kick ass photographer who had fulfilled her dream of traveling the world. Afghanistan to Nice, war zones or film festivals, Dani had done it all. Now she was based in Harper Falls, still flying out when the right story came along, but ready to put down roots and stop living out of a suitcase. She had just been hired to do a photographic history of the town in honor of the upcoming centennial celebration. It was a job that would keep her a homebody for the foreseeable future.

  “We could have gotten together later in the day,” Rose looked at Tyler with concern. “You need to get some sleep.”

  Tyler’s eyes did look tired, but she had such an inherent vitality that it was hard to tell unless you looked closely. Much like the nine-year-old Tyler, the grown up one thumbed her nose at constantly worrying about her appearance. Her hair was piled into a messy bun on top of her head, and her jeans and baggy man’s shirt had various colors of paint splattered all over them. Her high cheekbones and full mouth spoke to a mixed heritage that couldn’t be easily pinned down. A bit of Native American, some Irish, perhaps a smattering of Nordic blood from way back. It was a spectacular combination of coal-black hair and pale gray eyes. She had a tall, slender, athletic body. What curves she had were subtle and sleek. She had the face and figure that could have graced fashion magazines. Tyler found the idea hilarious. She was an artist, period. She had nothing to do with the way she looked. Put that down to genetics and some randy Vikings. Some girls had once called her a mutt. Whether it had been out of spite or jealousy, it was a term Tyler happily embraced. Bluebloods, she’d spit with contempt, you could keep them. And the one blue-blood whose name wasn't to be mentioned was the worst of the lot.

  Early on in their friendship, it was Rose who felt like the mutt, and it would have been so easy to fall into the plain friend roll. But Dani and Tyler didn’t spend their time looking in mirrors. They were normal little girls who scraped their knees and climbed trees
and went shoeless from June to September. Before long Rose stopped worrying about being an ugly duckling among swans. As a result, she didn’t notice when her body began to change. Her beauty had been a gradual thing. There were no sudden growth spurts, no overnight development of curves. But by the time she was eighteen she was almost as tall as Tyler and her hair had taken on a rich auburn sheen. When the three of them went out together, people might notice Tyler and Dani first but they never overlooked Rose.

  “What I need,” Tyler said with obvious impatience, “is for the two of you to stop playing mommy and let me chose how much caffeine I consume or how many hours I sleep. Now, let’s drop that boring subject and switch to a different one. How was your date with Dr. Dull? Did he live down to your expectations?”

  “Well,” Rose sighed, “there are a lot of ways to describe last night, but dull isn’t one of them.”

  Tyler and Dani exchanged looks. The conversation wasn’t starting how they'd expected. They always shared postdate reviews. Tyler rarely dated any man more than a month but while they lasted her men were hot and wild. Dani liked what she called the sexy professor type, intellectually challenging and easy on the eye. Rose usually began with how nice her date had been, nice restaurant, nice conversation, followed by a nice kiss goodnight. In other words, nice and dull. This new twist had them sitting up in their seats.

  “We met at that place down on Maple Street, the one with the cotton candy colored door.”

  “Not Pink Tank?” Dani cringed. “I thought I read that that place had been shut down weeks ago for health violations.

  “You didn’t eat anything iffy, did you?” Tyler asked.

  “No.” Rose sighed. “But my date did.”

  The evening had started out fine. She and Calvin had agreed meet at the restaurant instead of him picking her up. Rose had thought the place seemed a bit dingy but otherwise it looked clean. They had a bit of pre-dinner chit chat, well, he did most of the chatting. He spent most of the time telling her about his exciting work as an actuary.

  “An actuary?” Tyler exclaimed. “Where do you find these guys?”

  “Not every guy is a race car driver or extreme sports enthusiast,” Dani reminded their friend.

  “Before you two start the same argument we’ve all heard a thousand times, can I finish my story?”

  Tyler and Dani both nodded and gave the tick-a-lock sign on their mouths.

  “Everything was fine until the food arrived.” Rose grimaced before telling them what happened next. “Calvin would take a bite and then make an odd face. He sniffed at the next bite and then held it out and asked me if I thought it smelled off. When I told him, I wasn’t sure he just continued to eat his food, smelling everything before he put it in his mouth.”

  “How was your food?” Dani asked. Rose could tell they were doing their best not to laugh.

  “By that point I had lost my appetite, so I didn’t eat much,” Rose admitted. “I kept telling him to send the food back but nothing would stop him.”

  “And?”

  “And before he even finished he started complaining that he didn’t feel well. I took advantage of the situation and as soon as the bill was paid I hustled us out of there. We hadn’t gotten more than a few steps out the door when Calvin turned towards me and threw up all over my Prada pumps.”

  “Not the pale pinks ones,” Dani gasped. “Off with his head.”

  “The hell with his head,” Tyler interjected. “We’re talking Prada. Pale pink suede Prada. Off with his balls.”

  The three friends finally gave in and burst out laughing. When Tyler suggested grabbing the nearest knife and tracking down Calvin’s testicles, it set them off on another round of giggles.

  “I wish I could have laughed last night,” Rose said after they had calmed back down. “There I stood, unsuccessfully trying to shake the vomit off my shoes as Calvin stumbled off towards his car, without a single word of apology. If it hadn’t been for the owner of the flower shop that was next door to the restaurant, I don’t know what I would have done. She saw the whole thing and ran out with a garden hose. She got all the goo off me and the sidewalk and then gave me a pair of flip-flops to wear home.”

  “What a nice thing to do.”

  “She saved the day. Which reminds me,” Rose reached into her purse and pulled out a couple of business cards. “From now on, if you need flowers get them at Peony. The owner’s name is Lila, and she just opened up a few weeks ago. I want to send as much business her way as I can.”

  “Rose, I know we laughed, but I’m sorry your date turned out to be such a disaster.” Tyler leaned over, giving her hand a squeeze. “At least you know that isn’t likely to ever happen again.”

  “You’re right,” Rose agreed and plunged in with her big announcement. “So I wanted you both to know that as of last night, I am pulling out of the dating world. No more boring dates or bad dates or dates involving projectile vomiting. For the foreseeable future, I am officially a man free zone.”

  “Come on, don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Tyler asked. “You could just avoid any dates that involve food.”

  “Or give it a week before you decide anything,” Dani reasoned. “You might feel differently in a few days.”

  “Louise called.”

  “When?” Tyler and Dani exchanged concerned looks.

  “Last night. She’d left a message on the machine.” The old school land line and answering machine served the purpose of giving Louise access but making sure Rose never had to talk to her. No one else had the number, and Louise only used it for two purposes, to announce she was getting married or divorced.

  “So she found another sucker,” Tyler’s words dripped with disgust.

  “It’s her one of her few talents.” That and being a crazy, psycho bitch.

  “Well, now I get your sudden moratorium on men. Louise, plus Calvin, equals celibacy.”

  “It’s not like I was sleeping with any of the guys I’d been out with lately,” Rose reminded them. “I can take care of my needs just fine, so I might as well cut out the middleman.”

  “So Louise is getting married, again.” It was hard for Dani not shudder. “It was inevitable that she would call with the good news. I wish you would just rip that phone out and cut her off for good.”

  “And have her show up on my doorstep?” It had been almost twelve short years since Rose had seen Louise. The last thing she wanted was the woman to be anywhere near herself or Harper Falls.

  “Please, not another word about that whack job.” Tyler paused for dramatic effect. “I have an idea.”

  Rose groaned. She loved Tyler, but her ideas tended to induce headaches. Or the police—sometimes both.

  “No.”

  “Just hear me out,” Tyler smiled. “What you need to do is grab a gorgeous, hunky man and let him screw your brains out. One night, no strings attached.”

  “And this will help me how?”

  “How could it hurt?” Tyler wanted to know. “Gorgeous man, great sex. On top of that, it will shake things up, get you out of your rut. You don’t need to give men up; you just need to change them up.”

  “Since when are men better in bed just because they look good.” That hadn’t been Rose’s experience.

  “They aren’t, necessarily,” Tyler conceded. “You would have to choose a guy with a reputation for pleasing women.”

  “Tyler, this isn’t a great idea,” Dani warned.

  “And how would I find this sex machine?” Rose asked, ignoring Dani’s objection. In spite of herself she was beginning to see the appeal of this idea.

  “We’ll do a little research,” Tyler assured her. “Ideally you want to be familiar with the guy, he shouldn’t be a complete stranger, not for a one night stand. So, someone you know on sight but not someone you would run into every day.”

  “Guys.” Dani tried to interject another warning, but her friends weren’t listening.

  “You’re thinking someone from out of tow
n?” Rose asked thoughtfully. Either Louise’s call had scrambled her brains more than usual or she was actually considering doing this. There certainly was no harm in hashing out some details.

  “We’ll figure it all out as we go.” Tyler tented her fingers as if thinking deep thoughts. “Right now we need to start by asking around, subtly, of course. Men brag about their conquests, and so do women, right?”

  “You certainly do,” Dani teased affectionately.

  Ignoring her, Tyler pushed on. “We know a lot of women. Some of them must know guys who treat the ladies well and aren’t looking for long-term relationships. I’d give you one of mine, but we don’t need to start sharing men.”

  All three women shuddered at the thought. They’d made it this far in their friendship without ever wanting the same man. There had been no crossover dates or lovers. Now was not the time to change that.

  “I still have to think about it, Tyler.” Rose wasn’t going to commit herself to one of her friend’s crazy schemes right away. She was interested, but if she gave Tyler the go ahead she was afraid of finding a guy in her bed that night. “Crap, is that the time. I have to go. Frank and I have a song to finish, and he should be calling in about fifteen minutes.” Grabbing her purse, Rose exchanged quick hugs and was out the door.

  Dani waited until Rose was out of the building before turning on Tyler.

  “Are you out of your mind?”

  “Often, but not at the moment,” Tyler grinned. “And I know what you’re going to say, so before you jump down my throat let me set your mind at ease. Rose is not going to have a one night stand.”

  “Well, you were all for it a minute ago,” Dani reminded her.

  “I never thought it was a great idea.” Tyler took a sip of her strong, dark roasted coffee. She knew the owners, and they never served her decaf, not that Dani needed to know that.

  “We both saw how Rose wasn't herself. That always happens after Crazy Louise calls. But this time she’d just gotten back from the lousy date to end all lousy dates. She wasn’t thinking clearly, and while she might have gotten over the no date thing in a few days, she would still choose the same kind of guy. She needs to rethink her dating strategy.”